Mercury is in retrograde until October 9. It rules all types of communication, AND "important documents such as book manuscripts or term papers, agreements, deeds, contracts, leases..." FML.
No wonder my thesis project is getting nowhere. I'm trying to figure out where the wind in my sails went. I thought is was because I altered the topic, but no. I think it's because I am paralyzed by my quest for perfectionism. It's gotta be just right, right now.
Ugh. Get over it.
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Cracks
More often than not, I have been leaving work physically, mentally, and emotionally wiped out. After two and a half years of being an ER RN, the luster and excitement has given way to a sort of jaded resentment. In the far reaches of my memory, I see the shining hospital on the hill, glistening in the sunlight. And I, with hope and optimism, was a new graduate nurse who was going to show everyone how smart, compassionate and hard-working I was so that I could work as a bona fide registered nurse at that sparkling institution by the sea.
I think I've finally deconstructed this salty bitterness to a level that really gets to the heart of things. The ER is that place where people go after they have slipped through the cracks. The systems that were set up to help the ill and destitute are not infallible.
Name the system--the economy, housing, education (Drawing a blank for others. Arguably education can be considered the foundation for everything). If there are cracks to be slipped through, there are people who will fall through and end up in the ER. Laws that help the poor and downtrodden prevent the ER from turning away anyone seeking medical attention. It is the last true safety net in the country. My workplace is a constant reminder of all that is wrong with society: hunger, homelessness, helplessness, lack of resources and treatment for the mentally ill, poor eating habits, over-stress, under-activity, mindless hamster-wheeling to keep up with the Jones', entitlement issues, sloth, bad parenting, (this list can go on for another few lines, but you get my drift).
I feel like I am literally putting a bandaid on the issues and not doing anything to affect change. My idealistic "power to the people" younger self would call me a sell-out and tell me to get back into organizing and do something about it. I've succumbed to the machine that tells me that these actions would be futile. Is that laziness or wisdom?
I think I've finally deconstructed this salty bitterness to a level that really gets to the heart of things. The ER is that place where people go after they have slipped through the cracks. The systems that were set up to help the ill and destitute are not infallible.
Name the system--the economy, housing, education (Drawing a blank for others. Arguably education can be considered the foundation for everything). If there are cracks to be slipped through, there are people who will fall through and end up in the ER. Laws that help the poor and downtrodden prevent the ER from turning away anyone seeking medical attention. It is the last true safety net in the country. My workplace is a constant reminder of all that is wrong with society: hunger, homelessness, helplessness, lack of resources and treatment for the mentally ill, poor eating habits, over-stress, under-activity, mindless hamster-wheeling to keep up with the Jones', entitlement issues, sloth, bad parenting, (this list can go on for another few lines, but you get my drift).
I feel like I am literally putting a bandaid on the issues and not doing anything to affect change. My idealistic "power to the people" younger self would call me a sell-out and tell me to get back into organizing and do something about it. I've succumbed to the machine that tells me that these actions would be futile. Is that laziness or wisdom?
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