With Exception?

Note to self, also cross-listed under things I wish I knew before starting undergrad:
With regard to grades, my Critical Thinking prof said, "it is better to have something and not need it than to need something and not have it."
In this case, he was referring to having an A, or good grades. I'm not so sure this could apply universally. Is it always good to have something and not need it than to need it and not have it? (I'm repeating it over and over). I think yes, actually--if you are looking at things from the inside, out.

Up: Carl and Ellie

So I have a thing for Disney movies, especially Pixar collaborations. There, I said it.

Months ago, I saw a glimpse of the type of relationship I have been looking for. Yes, in a Disney movie. Call me sappy or hopeless, but the idealism in me still lives behind the sewn together patches and bits of my heart. She is Ellie, an adventurous spirit and he, Carl, is the one who loves her. In the beginning of the movie, Carl and Ellie meet and it goes into a montage of the couple lovingly growing old together. It's a relatively short part of the movie, but it was the part I remembered best. Getting married, building a home together, their challenges, their affection for one another. The love was in the details.

(sigh...)


On another note:

I will be done with my prerequisites next month and will be able to apply for schools (FINALLY!) The part of me that wants it all tells me that it might be time to look for Mr. Right while looking for the right nursing school/program. So much easier said than done. Factors in choosing a nursing program:

- How fast I can get started: Down with waiting lists!
- How soon I can work as an RN: Includes reputation of school, how long the program is, % of new grads with jobs,
- Cost: Consider my final debt to income ratio, support system, whether I can work at the same time
- Location: I've always wanted to live somewhere beyond SoCal
- Associated vs. Second Bachelor's vs. Masters
- What kind of nursing do I want to end up doing in the end? FNP, ICU, ER, Pediatric, other?

Decisions. Decisions.

Trips

My budget nowadays is limited, so I've been consigned to taking trips in my head. Here is one place to add to the list of places I'd like to visit.

Capilano Suspension Bridge
Vancouver, BC

How gorgeous is this?

Natural inclinations

Usually when people feel intense pain and suffering, they want to extract, eradicate, exterminate, obliterate it immediately... but in the end, what they really want to do is the healthiest thing possible to get over it.

Like when you have an intense pain in your abdomen. You feel like ripping your insides out, but the rational side tells you to get it checked out, even if you learn that it's appendicitis or a tumor or something else. Then, after the doctor says it's ok then you cut the sucker out! (We won't even explore the avenues people take when they can't afford health care.)


So what do you do if your pain is emotional or mental and trying to address the symptoms or causes is IMPOSSIBLE?

- Try to replace it with other feelings
- Distract yourself from the causes/symptoms by watching crappy tv, attending concerts, making Halloween costumes, reading, studying, working, working out, driving 3000 miles, pretending to have a crush on the sales guy at the big sale, hanging out with friends, sleeping, knitting, making phone calls to everyone in your contact list, shopping, eating, blogging, or . . .
- Talking about it with friends, family or a therapist
- Move to another city
- Move to another country
- Think about tackling multiple things on THE LIST.

So, Buddhism teaches that it's about taking the road toward towards the least suffering. We all want to be content.

Which road was that exactly? I think I've taken a wrong turn.

The Last Hoorah

Another potential hash mark on my list of things to do is to follow a budget. This starts tomorrow. Today I went on a shopping spree... spent about $250 on a combination of boots, shirts, pair of socks, and gift. In one day.

My last hoorah I must call it. This cannot continue.

I finally figured out a way to curb my shopping habit. I've been trying to for several years. This one's a three-pronged approach. First, I will be budgeting all of my income and setting aside a modest $50 per month for personal-items shopping, which includes clothes, shoes, accessories, electronics, and miscellaneous and not-absolutely-necessary items. Second, I will not carry around my credit card. Third, (and here is where I will need help) I will need 2-3 volunteers to serve as my approval board for these so-called personal items. I should be setting this $50 aside to go toward my laptop, so I will need an approval board (a.k.a. nagging reminder people) to help me remember how much I want this laptop. I'd nominate my mother, but I think that will be so effective it will hurt. I would also like to nominate the BF. But he hates nagging and thus hates to nag. I guess I will have to ask my brothers...

If that does not work, I guess I have to try it the old-fashioned way.

With willpower.

BTW, I passed up multiple offers to help eat people's kalbi today. Though it was tough, it felt good to say no. Let's see how this anti-shopaholism system pans out.

teeth clencher

the last time i went to the dentist
he told me i grind my teeth

i told him i don't think i do it in my sleep

the hygenist guessed that maybe i grit my teeth
while driving--
since i told her i do a lot of that.
after which, the dentist suggested
i chew gum while in the car.

after packing about over 1000 shirts
into about 60 boxes
i just realized that i clench my teeth the most...

at work

Chorus

fish eat worms
birds eat fish
people eat fish and birds
worms eat people

Back Burner

TOMORROW i will call the Career Center at Scripps and finally get more active about my career decisions and goals. I just hope they can help.
So here are the things that I am considering:


Registered Dietician / Public Health
After having worked with high school youth for almost 5 years and not doing it for a year, I realized that I really miss it and I should explore career bring me closer to youth and education. As an RD/MPH, I see myself working with school districts on nutrition education, maybe even cafeteria menu planning. Getting the right foods to fuel young minds at work and for needy families is important to me. If needed, I could also plant myself as a Dietician in fitness clubs (Sports Club LA) and private practice on the side...getting myself fit as I do it. What would also be neat is if I start community health education via live classes or video: cooking course, grocery shopping trips. Way to incorporate shopping into my career, huh? The MPH track would allow me to travel and work with peoplein underdeveloped countries [during the times school is out of session].

Exploration step: Talk to Hawthorne School District nutrition program director.


Registered Nurse
I've thrown around the idea of being a nurse, mostly because it's a road well-traveled--the idea of which is conforting to me. I'm making it sound practical and dry, because that's what it is to me. It is the "I'm going to have a family one day, and I need to put food on the table and clothes on their back" option. With the Baby Boomer retirement exodus out of the workforce, jobs in nursing, education, law enforcement, ... almost everywhere will need to be filled. And it helps to know that Nurse anesthetists, the majority of whom usually hold Masters or Doctorate degrees, make 6-figure salaries.

Exploration step: Volunteer at a hospital.


Entrepreneur
I want to open up an e-commerce stationery store, making greeting cards, journals on my home printing press. I would have to find a niche in the seemingly saturated market of small presses/custom stationery & cards in order to make high-volume sales, but I think it would be the most creatively rewarding option. It can also be a hobby turned side-job that can be combined with any career option.

Exploration step: Take a letterpress course. Enroll in LTSC's small business course.

100 Things I want to do before motherhood

So the right-hand side of the page is where I'm going to keep track of "the list." My friend Jeannie encouraged me to start and keep this list and the blog will help me stick to it. Lots of people have lists of things they want to do before they die--people write books about it. Like this one. And this one.

My list has a twist. It's not that my life is going to end when I have children, but it will definitely be organized differently. It also does not mean that these things must happen before I become a mother. I recognize that when I have kids, my [already existent] insticts will kick in and my life will be thrown into sort of a maternal martyrdom where I'll feel more or less guilty for indulging in selfish pleasures.

If I do not achieve some of the things on this list before Kim, Jr. comes along, it is not the end of the world. There are several things on the list that I definitely do not want to do after I have children, but most can be transferred to the "Things I want to accomplish after I retire" list.

If you haven't already guessed, I like lists.