Dream

For the past two nights I have woken up from dreams. I'm not sure what's going on with me internally (stress, hormones,diet etc.) or externally (body, neck position, etc) that is causing me to remember my dreams but I feel compelled to start writing them down since I don't usually remember them--to the point where I question whether I have them at all.

This one was interesting because it involved applying for a job at the organization where I used to work as a community organizer, but in a much different capacity than I had previously worked. It was for a supervisor/coordinator for the employment access and job training program. It was the portion of the interview where a classroom full of people could get to know the candidates: some of the people in the program, the employees of the organization, and community members. They asked the 4-5 candidates, "What would make you a good lawyer? Why are you applying for this job?" Question itself was random and it kind of threw me off, but I had my answer.

I waited until the other people spoke. I don't remember what they said, but I do remember what I said. I said I'm not applying to become a lawyer, but a humble leader and strong facilitator. But what I do know is that a Coordinator is essentially an advocate--an advocate for clients, the program, and her staff. (Part of this dream made me miss my former coordinator at the organization.) I spoke clearly and confidently about how I observed that this program meets that needs of individuals on a basic level, serves the people, builds dignity, and in turn strengthens the sense of community in the area. I have long admired the fact that after basic job training, people feel compelled to return and give on the backside. After they have found jobs and/or gotten themselves settled. The backflow on the backside was why I wanted to apply for the position and what I felt the strength of the program was.

I woke up really wanting to go back to doing community work. I woke up really wanting that job.

It got me thinking about how much different I am (or the same) after having left the organization 4 years ago. A lot has happened in that time. I have been working as an EMT now for two years and everything about it has made me a better person. Running emergency-911 calls and inter-facility transports between hospitals for the sick and recovering has introduced me to a myriad of different personalities of different social, economic and ethnic backgrounds. From Huntington Park to Huntington Beach, I have served people at their most vulnerable...sometimes thanklessly. It has taught me patience, humility, to trust my skills and to stick to my convictions while observing protocol and respecting policy. I am thankful for the opportunity to be doing what I do for a living. But I do want more. I know I can do more. Learn more. Grow more.

I think that's what this dream was about.

Life on the Ambulance, Vol. 1

As of this moment I have logged in about 237 hours at the private ambulance company where I work. One of the first lessons I learned in training was, "Don't make their emergency your emergency." I say that to myself each time I get a 911/fire call. Actually, only about 98% of the calls I get are on the private side--which means I'm a glorified medical taxi taking patients from hospitals to other hospitals, convalescent homes, dialysis centers, MRI offices, etc.

Everyone guesses that I am about 24-25, and are usually perplexed that little ol' me is there instead of some 6-foot white dude in his early 20's that looks like he surfs in his spare time and is on the way to becoming a Firefighter or Paramedic. When I tell them I want to be a nurse, they seem to understand. Still, a few of them still take one glance at me and tell me (and my partner), "You'd better not drop me."

As an attendant (not a driver), I get to sit in the back with the patients and talk to them (given that they are alert and oriented) as I monitor their vital signs. I've had dozens of fascinating conversations with patients. After the important medical questions, my favorite question to ask older female patients--whose husbands were in the hospital upon pick up--is, "How long have you been married?" and "What do you think is the key to a successful relationship?" I'm still collecting stories, but the common thread is Patience. There always ups and downs... how you get through those times is as important as the act itself. In between time, "Don't go to bed mad." If I get to it, I tell them a little about myself since they are offering so much of themselves. I tell them that I recently had a 6-year relationship end about 9 months ago. And they give me the same look. The wince that says, "Ouch, that much be tough." It is the same look anyone that has been in love gives me when when I tell them that.