Last night, I did what every interesting twenty-something would do. I went to the library, checked out some books, and went home to read. Well, maybe not every interesting twenty-something.
Every day I'm reflecting upon what it really means to be single. As a serial monogamist, I've been in relationships now for more than half my life (since middle school). My shortest relationship was about 7 months. Though there was up to a few months in between relationships, I never really knew what it meant to be a single woman. It's now time.
There is a game being played out there and I'm ready to learn the rules.
Lesson 1: Normally, when I get to know someone new (whether it be classmate, roommate, friend, bf) I'm not incredibly reserved with many of my thoughts and emotions. In college I learned that sharing your thoughts and baring your soul can be effective communication: stories, opinions, dreams, goals, feelings, witty banter, etc. Opening myself up can lead to the other opening him/herself up. I'm slowly learning that not this level of disclosure is not necessarily good--and that I will probably run out of energy soon if I keep it up. There is a certain appeal (a feeling that I liken to power and control) that comes with keeping certain thoughts in my head, feelings in my heart. I've talked about this with T once and I didn't quite understand the concept until now. Makes complete sense in singlehood when it was nonsense in a relationship.
Lesson 2: Who gives a flying hoot what I choose to do with my Friday night? I can do whatever tickles my fancy. This revelation, which many have known as fact for while, is the definition of freedom and the essence/appeal of being single. I've talked to many a romantic (mostly guys) who tell me that this feeling can be overrated. Meh! I say--not right now!
My friends R, R and J are supposed to fill me in on the other lessons. They seem to be able to work the single circuit and still keep their wits about them.
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